Imposter Syndrome
def: a person who struggles with an exaggerated sense of doubt in abilities and knowledge with fear of being seen as a fraud
.....Also known as the growing pains of getting your first job out of college.
Now before I get into it, I want to disclaim one thing: I don't hate my job. I actually am growing in how much I do love working at the company I am with and the role I am in, but that does not mean I don't have bad days or don't overanalyze criticism given to me by my superiors. I want to make sure that (while it is fun showing the fun, the perks, and the fancy moments), I am genuine about the life I live. Social media can feel like an unattainable and I do not want to play into that with you!
So here we go...
If I have learned anything since starting my job, it is that patience with yourself is probably the most important skill to have ( yes, more than Excel proficiency). I am the type of person who wants to master everything I am exposed to at the start of it all, so I can keep up with my surroundings. The absolute last thing I ever want is for someone to think I am stupid- and not just being wrong, but that someone could possibly doubt my ability to understand. This fear adds a level of pressure that becomes life and death. If I enter this data wrong, will I get fired? Will my boss be mad at me if I have to ask him to go over this function even though he already explained it to me twice? The list of second guessing goes on and on.
I have a theory that graduating in a time like COVID has messed me up in the job sphere because we all saw first hand that everyone is replaceable. People who worked at jobs for 10, 15, 20 years getting laid off in an instant. It took me a year and a half to finally find a job and create a life for myself (and I still know other people looking). I do not want to give anyone a reason to think that the people they chose me over could do it better- but constantly competing with yourself is unrealistic and unhealthy. *Enter the Imposter Syndrome*
Did I ever lie on my resume? No. During my interviews? No. So why do I feel like I could be exposed as fraud? Beats me- although I do wish this feeling could stop.
Since working at Michael Kors for the past two months, I have been giving myself some core reminders to check these feelings and talk myself down a little:
1- They are your boss; They should know more than you/ do tasks faster than you/ navigate data more swiftly than you
2- Excel is like a foreign language. When stop using it all the time, you forget things. In contrast, when you start using it again, it feels more normal and easier
3- No mater how old you are, what position you start in, etc., you will have a learning curve. You have to learn how a company runs/ what pillars they measure success/ the working dynamic between peers
4- It is better ask questions at the start than spend a whole bunch of time to do something wrong
5- People don't remember your mistakes as long as you do
The the first month, my imposter syndrome and just anxiety in general was really bad. No matter what my coworkers, friends, family, bosses were saying, it didn't match up with the expectations I had with myself. It is normal to feel a little overwhelmed when you first start a job, but know that the feel will only last for a couple months and once you're settled, you'll realize how not everything is as high stakes as it once felt. These past few weeks, I have finally started understanding things and I am sure next month it will only get better. I hope if any of you reading this have felt way before or are currently feeling this way- I am with you and just try to use these reminders whenever you need!
***
Stay UNIQUE,
Sara Anne
No comments:
Post a Comment