YOUR FIRST JOB MIGHT NOT BE YOUR BEST JOB AND THATS OK

 

Hey Everyone!

Its performance review season and I feel like I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately about where I was this time last year For those who don't know I started a new job in the beginning of the year after leaving my first job post-grad. This wasn't just a new job- this was a new job in a role and department I have never had experience in. I was going from buying to product development. One job was more business oriented and sales focused and one job is more creative problem solving and working with the design team to execute the actual product that the buyers would order. This was a very nerve wracking thing to start but I honestly have never been happier and it made me think about how unexpected this all was.

***

I am the type of person who has always know what they want to do, where they want to live, and at what point in time they want to accomplish things. I think it has a lot to do with being very Type A and being the oldest child ( I whole heartedly believe in birth order), but I rely on planning things to bring me peace because it is what I can control. If there is anything I have learned in the past 3 years, it is that life is about as out of control it can get. You can control something like what you wear everyday, what you eat for lunch, even if you make your bed in the morning, but the total trajectory of your life? Ya, that's not something you can plan step by step.

Since I was in the eighth grade I have known I wanted to move to NYC and work in fashion. I played around with the idea of working for a magazine like how they did in the Carrie Diaries and The Devil Wear Prada, but when I got into high school I fell in love with the role of being a buyer. I worked at my local Nordstrom and participated in their fashion program and even started my own fashion instagram page ( which is what we now all know and love as @uniquely_sara_anne). 

When deciding to go to college, I landed on USC for its absolute beautiful campus, it's top rated Retail program, and because I could score getting in-state tuition. The stars were aligning and I started my career-based classes. I loved learning about something I loved for so long. Fast forward, I somehow landed a dream internship at Saks Fifth Avenue in NYC just by applying to the website. I will say, I continued working in boutiques and other retail settings throughout college, but I also am a very good interviewer. Other than those two things, I feel so lucky to have been chosen even to this day. 

My internship was with the buyers for the Men's Suits Department and my manager was very focused on getting me involved in meetings and having visibility to the process of being a buyer. I loved working for a department store business model because we were constantly having meetings with different vendors and I was creating best seller recaps which was probably my favorite things to do. I learned a lot that summer and only was validated that this was something I wanted to do for a living. 

Fast forward again, Senior Year. A global pandemic takes over and the job market goes on freeze so my perfect plan of moving straight to New York and being the next Carrie Bradshaw or Andy Sachs of the world was now on pause. Remember when I said I was a planner? Ya that was not a good time for me. I'm not being dramatic when I say I literally felt like a failure. As a reminder, no one was getting jobs AND people were actively loosing jobs. But, that is where I revived my blog that you are currently reading now. I posted about the business impacts on the retail industry from COVID, other trends that come out of WFH, and different personal topics I was inspired by. I am thankful for the pandemic for reintroducing me to my love of writing and connecting stories with others, but I was still struggling with actually starting my life....until I finally got my own job. 

After a year of living with my parents for a year post-grad, I packed up a mini UHaul and driving four hours to Manhattan where I would finally jump back into my life's plan. I was working on the buying team at a pretty recognizable brand and I was living in New York pretty much financially independent from my parents. I had never been more proud; that lasted for about five months. 

I when hitting the six month mark of my job I had not felt the type of confidence you are supposed to feel as you develop into your role. I was working almost all the time and was struggling big time with imposter syndrome. Very few people knew what I was actually feeling for the next six months and part of this comes from me feeling so embarrassed and ashamed. I had worked so hard for this and this is what I should be wanting. Is it all for what I was actually feeling?? And then one day in December of 2021 I did something that was a little uncomfortable but ultimately the best decision I could have made: leaving my job without another one lined up. 

Keep in mind I still had Rumble, but I was in no means making a living off of it. I just had a feeling that I would get another job within the next two months. I kept telling myself that and was hustling for interviews and phone calls. I will say, I did leave at a really good job because there were a lot of changes going on in the job industry, but again, I had a feeling it would workout. I took this time as a way to explore different routes in my career. I applied to PR jobs, merchandising jobs, and (drum roll) product development jobs. 

Ultimately that brings me to where I am now, working in product development for a company that is so focused on personal and professional development, the mental health of their employees, and being the best they can be. It is so encouraging to be a part of a place that encourages me and gives me feedback while also giving me a safety net to fall. I have been given so much ownership of styles and feel like I have grown more in the past six months than I did in the past year I was at my previous job. 

This long-winded story is meant to remind you all that your first job is exciting and something to be proud of but it is also just a job. It is not the rest of your life and if it  doesn't go as planned, know that it is because there is something so much better waiting for you. You have to know what you deserve and be willing to forgo a plan you made when you were 13. 

Trust me. The feeling I have now is what I planned for- maybe not the job, but the feeling for sure.

***

Stay UNIQUE,

Sara Anne