We have all heard the phrase "Comparison is the Thief of Joy", but something I don't think people realize is how easy it is to compare pretty much anything and everything- comparing ourselves to other people, other people to other people, even other things to other things. If we know it is harmful for us, why do we do it all the time?
If I am being honest, I have always struggled with trying to measure myself to other people's standards and starting my job has been no different. There are just different kinds of things I am comparing now: how fast it takes me to work on something, what I wear to market meetings versus my coworker, what I am eating for lunch or how much I am eating in general. Fashion is just as, if not more, competitive than any other industry and with that can come a lot of newfound insecurity.
I want people to like me and think that I am a harder worker- my biggest fear is to be considered stupid. This creates a huge area for me to overthink a lot of what I do during my corporate job. I have been noticing a terrible habit of comparing myself to those around me. The kicker is that I am comparing myself to people who have either worked in the company for a minimum of five years or to people who are in completely different positions than I am currently in- both are completely unfair and unrealistic measurements. This comparison only enhances the "Imposter Syndrome" that I talked about in a previous blog post.
I was meeting with the director of my department for a touch base and I decided to just let my walls down and ask her a question that I knew would be for my own good: " Have you ever been in a position where you didn't feel qualified or deserving and how did you over come this?". I had so explain to her what "Imposter Syndrome" was because I think it is more of an established diagnosis in the younger generation, but she gave me advice that has radically changed my working experience.
After explaining some of the things I was feeling, she told me that no one truly knows everything. Working in fashion, everything changes faster than any one company can prepare for. It is a highly reactionary industry. She told me she's gone into meetings hoping that it all goes well just like me. It is normal to want to do well in your role, but you need to find where YOU fit into the role- not just filling in the footsteps of the person before you.
This applies to literally any job you may already have or may receive in the future. You will never be another "Sam" or "Ashley", you will be you and that is how it will always be. Make the position your own and add your own personality to the tasks you are given. People hired you because of you, so why hide that?
Now I know this only addresses a niche bit of the whole topic of comparison, but I have noticed that once I accepted myself in the role, I was able to accept myself in the company. I will never look like my coworkers and that is okay. I will never act exactly like my coworkers and that is okay too! The only way I will be able to enjoy job is by letting go of the idea of finding comfort in conformity. I was hired because I deserved it and people saw that I would contribute something new.
I hope that this helped any of you that might be struggle with a new job or feeling confident in what you have to offer! It is crazy how a simple piece of advice can make such a profound difference!
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Stay UNIQUE,
Sara Anne
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