Hello Friends,
In all honesty I thought two years out of college I would be able to write a post about making friends after college, but right now I am realizing that there is no guide to making friends. You will go through phases where you have people right down the street and times were you spend continuous weekends alone walking around and exploring. Both are okay!
There is so much pressure to immediately graduate college and begin the best time of your life, your twenties. Now my twenties have definitely a new experience, but I'm not spending every night at the club, I'm not going on a million dates, and I'm not traveling the world. I wake up, go to work, some times squeeze in a work out, do my skin care routine, and go to bed. I miss my friends from college, my family, and just life without responsibilities. I know what you're thinking- Sara, you're almost 3 years out of college, shouldn't you be done with the transitional period? Honestly I wonder the same thing. That is partly why I am so excited to turn 24. I view birthdays the same way I view New Years, a fresh slate.
Anyways- I don't want this post to be too sad, but I want to be real. Social media truly is a highlight of the best parts of our lives and if everyone posted all of their emotions, no one would care as much. People like to see the lives the could live. Instagram and TikTok fuel the ability to day dream while opening the door to comparison and you're stuck in a constant loop because of the algorithm you created. Does that make the consumer the victim or the villain?
Okay okay, now I am really off track. Making friends post grad isn't impossible, but you have to be more open to new things. There is no org fair or sorority recruitment. You don't get dropped off at your new place with a bunch of options presented to you in a Comic Sans printed pamphlet, you have to do the work and search for things to do in your avenues of interests.
Some of the ways that I have built my social circle is through friends of friends, reaching out to people from my internship or past jobs, joining a church, and becoming friends with workout instructors from my favorite exercise classes. After college friendships take a whole lot more effort because there is not set standard each person lives their lives. Hanging out with people may require more advanced planing, more money, transportation time, etc. You really have to be willing to do the work to be with the people you want to be around. It's not impossible, but it is different. I am still doing the work to meet new people- I may be trying Bumble BFF, will keep you guys updated on that.
One thing I heard recently from Serena Kerrigan ( which was used for dating but could also be used for friendship): Think about your ideal person, what do they do on the weekends, what do they read, where do they workout, what music do they listen to? Do those things. If you like cooking and you want a friend to cook fun meals with, take a cooking class. If you love working out and you want a gym buddy, get on Classpass. If you love reading, go to central parks. If you love Harry Styles, go to his residency at MSG. I am sure that one of these scenarios will land you in a situation where you meet someone new. This advise honestly shook me to my core. It sounds so obvious once you hear it but I never thought it could be that easy.
Take it from me, sitting in your room is nice, but it isn't self care if you are just scrolling through social media wishing your life could be like what you see on you iPhone screen. Trust me. Try something new, introduce yourself first- these people are strangers, if it doesn't go well, you never have to see them again!
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Stay UNIQUE,
Sara Anne
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